"Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’"
- Amy Schumer [x] (via rashaka)
"Sometimes I wish I was 29 with my life figured out & sometimes I wish I was 5 with my whole life ahead of me and not a care in the world"
- Reyna Biddy (via kushandwizdom)